we’re unable to fully understand what has happened, or to trust that what we believed is actually true. Or we may attempt to force our experience to fit a belief we’ve held.   

    The beliefs we hold define who we are and the truths of our life experience. Beliefs provide us with meaning. When an experience shatters our beliefs, we are likely to feel a profound sense of a loss of meaning and purpose. What can we believe any more? What gives us meaning? How can we be certain about the very ground we stand on, both literally and figuratively?

   A task of grief is to find meaning and understanding. The “why me” and the “how could this happen” questions are the beginning of that task. The irresistible need to go to the scene of an accident or to rehearse the events leading up to a loss is one of the ways we try to accomplish this task.

    Finding meaning and understanding often causes us to question our beliefs.

   This may mean that we must modify our belief about life in order to find meaning for our loss. This can take a long time. In this process we may experience a sense of despair, or what some call “spiritual desolation.” Not understanding what is happening, we may label the experience as depression. It is important to see the difference. This often requires the help of someone who is skilled in recognizing the difference.

   This passage is appropriately described as “desolation” because it truly is a period of vast darkness that engulfs a person. Still, mystics see it as a blessing in disguise out of which one grows both emotionally and spiritually.    Resolving any conflict we may have between our belief about how the world ought to be and the truth of our experience is the single most important task of grieving the loss of our belief, or what we sometimes call a “spiritual loss.”

Read more about the aspects of loss > > >

happens emotions arise, especially those having to do with reward and punishment. To illustrate, imagine you’re driving a car. In this example, your are the “brain” behind the steering wheel (hopefully this is true in real life). Based on past experience, if you perceive danger ahead you will press on the brake or the accelerator to avoid the hazard. In our example, the break and the accelerator represent the emotions of “fight” (aggression), and “flight” (withdrawal).

    When something happens that doesn’t fit our belief about the world and our expectation of how we think things should be, our mind is unsettled.

    Depending on the importance of the event and the strength of our belief, we may have the experience of being violated or in danger (and hit the break or accelerator). Often

Nyo. "As it is," the way things are, without delusion, without illusion.